So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
