I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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