when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize