at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
