I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the day after is always just damage control
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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