Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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