you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
