well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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