She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
