I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
