i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
