Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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