But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize