I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
