but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
