I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
