Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
