just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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