wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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