I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
