I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
