It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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