My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
