I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
