Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
