I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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