I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize