we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
