I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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