This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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