we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
