it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
