the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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