what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
