I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
