i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
