What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize