Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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