He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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