what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
