woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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