bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
pray to the hookup gods
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize