i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
