Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
