i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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