Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
