we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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