he was CRYING into my vagina
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize