Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
