Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My ass is underappreciated
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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