I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
