Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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