i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
