careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
