hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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