you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize