i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Randomize
