Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
