Your tits are I can't wait for
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
