16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
