Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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