I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Say something about gay babies.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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