how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His hands were made for my vagina.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
