laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
