I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Where is the hickey?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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