one two three fourrrrnication!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
