Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the day after is always just damage control
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
