Redeem this text for a blowjob
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she smelled like a LAN party
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
