I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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