three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
