she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
