My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
