so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
