I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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